Lesser Things…

Posted on December 23, 2015 by womanwifemotherchild

The first lines of this poem emerged in response to an ugly family situation. The poem sat unfinished for months. Then I began to read the book Left To Tell, by Immaculee Ilibagiza, a survivor of the Rwandan holocaust in 1991. Soon after, terrorists attacked in Paris. I finished reading that amazing book, which describes love and forgiveness in the midst of horror and hate, just before the mass shooting in San Bernadino, California. And we’re all aware that in addition to the violent acts that grab news headlines, there are ongoing struggles in this country and in the world at large fueled by racial, social, gender-based and religious bigotry. This poem is my response to hate on all levels…

Lesser Things

There are lesser things
than love, my friend,
and we have tried them all:
retaliation,
righteousness,
striving to recall
every misalignment in
the history of time.
We carry
bricks of sadness
for a world of our design.

The feathers of a goldfinch,
are as gifted
as a hawk’s —
in daily plight and purpose,
beauty won’t be lost.
Who’s to say
which of these
is wholly the more blessed,
for each deserves
a liberal flight and each one
craves its nest.

A single act
can bridge a gap or magnify
a fault.

There are lesser things
than love, my friend,
and we have tried them all.

Permission Granted…

Posted on November 25, 2015 by womanwifemotherchild

A friend from my writing group recently handed out copies of Elizabeth Gilbert’s new book, Big Magic. (Thanks, Jeff!) What a fresh perspective on creativity she has! And I love this:

“You do not need a permission slip from the principal’s office to live a creative life…”

Whew! 🙂

The Foliage Is Always Redder . . .

Posted on October 14, 2015 by womanwifemotherchild

Autumn is a season of change. The daylight hours shorten, the nights become cooler, and school is back in session. Actually, for the first time since 1989, no one in my own household headed back to school this September. That in itself signifies change. But here in New England, beautiful foliage displays are the most celebrated change of all.

Several years ago, on an October drive to visit one of my daughters attending a Vermont college, I was blown away by the brilliance of color. Wave after wave of reds, oranges, and yellows bloomed before me as I drove the hills and curves of Interstate Routes 93 and 89. Ever since that drive, I’ve wanted to take a leaf-peeping adventure every year. And living just 30 minutes south of the New Hampshire border, you’d think I’d have done it every year. But no. Fall is a busy time of year and weekends are precious. Last year, my husband and I planned ahead to combine a foliage trip with an Alchemist Brewery truck sale. Guess what! It rained. Hard. Of course, we got the beer, but the sightseeing was a bust!

This year, every weekend seems to be booked. Life, as usual, has gotten busy. But I’ve been thinking. The old saying that “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” could be tweaked to say: “the foliage is always redder, oranger (I know, not really a word), and yellower on the other side of the border.” It’s all about perspective. We really don’t need to climb the fence or cross the border to find the vibrancy. We just need to change our thinking and open our eyes. So, I did.

And here’s some of what I found less than a mile from home…

And also less than a mile from home is a soccer field at which I spent many an autumn as a busy, distracted soccer mom. I hardly ever stopped to appreciate the view. This year, I decided to track the changing colors. The first photo was taken on September 21st. The last one was taken this morning. Enjoy!

Sept 21

Sept 25

Oct 5

Oct 7

Oct 12

Oct 14

Nature Abhors A Garden

Posted on August 5, 2015 by womanwifemotherchild

It’s true. Every spring I succumb to the urge to plant seeds and watch them grow. And by July I’m questioning my sanity.

It starts in March when, feeling a bit like a kid with the Sears toy catalog at Christmas, I order my seed potato from Wood Prairie Farm in Maine. I dream of what else I will plant and where. The possibilities seem endless. The snow melts to reveal the garden beds and I salivate at the thought of this year’s crops.

In April and May, starting seeds indoors brings daily doses of joy as the tiny sprouts push up from the soil and transform into healthy green seedlings. Venturing to the local Herb Farmacy for a few organically grown tomato plants beats a trip to the candy store any day! The exciting prospect of a fantastic gardening season dances in my head.

The weather warms up as June approaches and the time to plant outdoors arrives. The smell of the sun-bathed earth and the popping colors of early-blooming bulbs are heavenly. Newly transplanted seedlings look small but hopeful. The perennial strawberry bed begins to flower. Soon, the seedlings gain strength; little green strawberries swell from their flowers; spring is in the air. All is right with the world.

Until it isn’t!

Nature abhors a garden.

There’s nothing like the disappointment of finding a precious green seedling chopped off at its base. Unless, of course, it’s the satisfaction of digging up a fat brown guilty cutworm and ending it between two rocks kept nearby for just such an occasion. While I firmly believe in organic gardening practices, there are days I’d like to poison the hell out of cabbage loopers, vine borers, spider mites, and Asiatic garden beetles– not to mention larger critters like chipmunks, groundhogs, and the local rabbit population! In mid-May this year, my poor apple trees never had a chance against a mob of voracious worms. And for every decent strawberry I picked this June, I probably threw another one or two half-eaten into the woods behind me. A few years ago, I met a tomato hornworm for the first time. Ugly creature!

In July, the temperature in New England soars to ninety degrees and the humidity descends. One day, the garden looks fairly well kept and the next, it’s overcome with weeds. They creep in, take over, and the battle begins. Some I can name — like crab grass and dandelions. The rest I know by sight because they don’t look like anything I’ve purposely planted! Whatever their names, they always seem to gain the upper hand, while I try desperately to cover every bare spot with mulch. August becomes a month of recovery, reclaiming my garden space, inch by inch. It’s back-breaking (well, back-aching, anyway) work.

If critters and weeds are not enough to deter any sane person from undertaking this hobby, the myriad of possible plant diseases and fungi might! My father gave me a copy of Rodale’s Garden Answers which contains sections meant to help identify what disease might be attacking and what to do about it. So many of the symptoms are frustratingly similar that by the time you take an educated guess, the plant could be beyond help. Sigh! I’ve seen plenty of powdery mildew taking out stands of Black-Eyed Susans. And two years ago, I watched my potato plants wither away, one by one, from blight. There’s also the challenge of trying to determine whether it’s an insect or a disease that’s causing a plant to wilt, turn funny colors, curl up, and die.

It’s truly a wonder that any gardens produce beautiful blooms or edible fruits. Yet, they do. I have a few gallons of strawberries and raspberries stored in my freezer as proof. Pea pods, tomatoes, potatoes, zucchini, and cucumbers await my attention outside my door.

As I wander around the grounds, I find myself already mapping out next year’s potential garden beds. Maybe next year I’ll be more prepared, more pro-active. Maybe I’ll beat nature at her own game.

Not.

Adventures in Painting…

Posted on July 13, 2015 by womanwifemotherchild

Spring always stirs in me a desire for change. And a fresh coat of paint is a relatively simple way to satisfy that desire. So, this past April, I decided to paint our family room. In the past 25 years, I’ve painted every single room in our house — many of them several times. So, I should have known better than to think repainting the family room would be a simple job…

Before painting, I decided that the front windows needed a make-over. Our two bay windows had been dressed in heavy, lined drapes since we first moved in. This was necessary at first, due to the house’s southern exposure. But since then, we’ve had a farmer’s porch built on the front of the house and the windows replaced with energy efficient glass. The light coming in isn’t as intense as it once was. So, it was time for the drapes to go.

After consulting with two local blinds companies, I decided to go with cellular shades. And to make things easy – though not inexpensive – I paid to have them installed. No pics of the drapes, but here are the new shades:

I love how light and clean they make the windows look! Can you see where the traverse rods and valance brackets were attached?

After removing the screws that held all the rods and brackets in place, I discovered that some of the plastic anchors were fused inside the screw holes, so I had to push them in a bit and spackle right over them. The yellow room (on the left) only needed a paint touch-up around the window. I couldn’t find any remnant of the Amber Waves paint among my collection of half-full Benjamin Moore cans in the cellar, so I bought a quart and did a quick touch-up. It looked almost seamless. Close enough.

The Maple Leaf Red room was the one I actually planned to repaint. I needed to choose a color. I was thinking “same, but lighter.” Something like terracotta. After collecting more paint strips from the local hardware store and the big home improvement stores than I dare to admit, I couldn’t settle on a color that was “different” and yet “same” enough. And the names of all those colors can be very persuasive: cinnamon, spiced apple cider, peach mousse. Seriously, who gets to think up all these names? (Coveted job title: Official Paint Color Namer.)

Anyway, when you can’t make up your mind, what do you do? You ask EVERYBODY for opinions! I spread out the paint strips on the window sill and cornered every family member and every visitor for an opinion. Eventually, all discussions converged on spiced apple cider. So, I bought a gallon.

The most important part of a good room-painting job, yet my least favorite part, is masking. Painstakingly taping every edge of every door frame, window frame, and baseboard seems to take forever! — especially when you’re anxious to see that new wall color. And this room had a mantlepiece and a ceiling beam to boot!

Finally, it was time to open the can of paint. I laid out my drop cloths, assembled my tools: screwdriver, paintbrush, roller, paint tray, and pried open the can. It looked awfully pink! But the color changes when it dries on the wall, I thought. So I painted a splotch or two.

Nope. Definitely not what I wanted.

Back at the hardware store, I requested a pint each of the next two darker shades on the same paint strip as spiced apple cider: baked terra cotta and warm sienna.

Warm sienna is what I really wanted! It’s the darkest of the three splotches above.

I used the rest of the pint to cut in at all my corners and edges. I figured I’d probably do a second coat anyway if there was a slight color variation in the gallon-size of warm sienna. Then, I headed back to the hardware store for the third time.

At home, I popped open my new gallon of warm sienna. It looked a bit light…but I started to pour it into the paint tray anyway. Now, I know that the color in a mixed pint is not an exact match for a mixed gallon of paint, but this looked like a pink swirl in the leftover paint from the pint can. Something was wrong!

I called the hardware store and they told me to bring it back and to bring along the pint can as well. Turns out that it had been mixed incorrectly – somehow! Since they had to mix a new gallon for me and I’d already used the paint from the pint can, they did a paint match on what was left in the pint. Free of charge, of course. 🙂 Evidently, it was slightly darker than it should have been.

So, after four trips to the store, I was finally ready to paint! The good news? It only took one coat!

And after all that, I got to buy some new accessories: new rug, plants and stands, pillows, and lampshades…my reward for all that hard work 🙂

Biking, Birding, and Brews: A Vermont Vacation…

Posted on May 26, 2015 by womanwifemotherchild

On Sunday morning, with our bikes secured to the roof of the Subaru XV, a bit of luggage and two empty hundred-quart Coleman coolers in the back, we pulled out of our driveway and headed north. We had reservations at Smart Suites in South Burlington and a semblance of a plan: to do some biking and some bird-watching, and to investigate the local craft beer scene. Those who know me well might be confused about that last part. But keep in mind that a good marriage is built on mutual respect, which means a good vacation includes compromise. Let’s just say that my husband has a built-in designated driver! And I come in pretty handy when there’s a one-case-per-person limit. For my part, I got to choose our accommodations: amenities and a good deal beat a room with a view.

After pulling over at a covered bridge on Route 9 in Southern Vermont
to eat a lunch freshly prepared at the Vermont Country Deli, we arrived at our first destination: Southern Vermont Museum of Natural History in Marlboro, Vermont.
A small place with big name. Here, we got an up close view of a lot of dead birds. But it was fascinating…really! The museum houses the collection of a man named Luman Ranger Nelson, who was able to preserve more than two hundred bird specimens of the northeastern United States in the early 1900s ( a time when humans beings were still in denial about our ability to render a species extinct). A few live, rescued birds also reside at the museum. My favorite were a pair of tiny screech owls. 🙂

Outside, we took in the tri-state, hundred-mile view…

…then headed north to Burlington.

On Sunday evening, Church Street in downtown Burlington provided window-shopping, a stroll (under an umbrella), and dinner. The Farm House Tap & Grill became our new favorite! (We ended up there three nights in a row.) My husband enjoyed his first taste of Hill Farmstead’s Conduct of Life. (That’s a beer — for those who have no more of a clue than I do!).

Monday morning saw our first beer run of the week. A delivery of Heady Topper from The Alchemist brewing company was set to arrive at Route 7 Liquors in South Burlington between 10 and 11 a.m. We showed up early and got in line.

Our reward: two cases of Heady Topper!

Lots of ice needed to keep things cold for the week!

The drizzle of Monday morning let up enough for us to get in a bike ride along the shores of Lake Champlain…

At lunchtime, we checked out the Fiddlehead Brewing Company in Shelburne, bought a couple of growlers, and a wood-fired pizza at Folino’s next door….

then headed to the Switchback Tap Room in Burlington for a quick beer flight.

The rain moved back in, so we decided to hit the Roxy Cinema in Burlington for a movie before dinner.

Tuesday morning, we made our first attempt at bird watching along the Intervale trail. Unfortunately, it rained on our birding parade…
and we had plans to pick up two more cases of Heady Topper at the Winooski Beverage Company.

So, we waited in line outside and the truck arrived incognito. A few minutes later, they unlocked the doors and snaked us in an orderly fashion through the store and around to the back to pick up our one-case-per-person!

Afterwards, we made one more attempt at the Intervale trail, but it was already late morning. There was evidence of wildlife, but no bird sightings. 😦

No woodpeckers, just holes…

…and a tiny butterfly.

A quick stop at the hotel to shower and pack a lunch, then we ran into Burlington for one more case of Heady Topper (are you counting??) at City Market…
…then off to the Shelburne Museum. The main attraction for me here was an exhibit called “Walter Wick: Games, Gizmos and Toys in the Attic.” Remember the I Spy books? They were Wick’s creation. My kids loved them and the photos impressed me. Unfortunately, no photography was allowed in the exhibit. We found several other interesting exhibits there, as well: paintings, photography, historic buildings, and quilts, among others.

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Wednesday morning, the City Market in Burlington was expecting a delivery of Lawson’s Sip of Sunshine. No lines and hardly a wait!

After that, we headed back to the Shelburne Museum, since admission pays for a two-day pass and a headache on my part had cut Tuesday’s visit short. This time, we explored the inside of the Ticonderoga.

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It was late afternoon when we stopped at Shelburne Farms, just down the road. I had originally wanted to take a tour and see the cheese-making in progress, but it was too late in the day. So, we shopped: three-year aged cheddar (soooo good!) and a birthday gift for one of my daughters. My husband rode his bike from the farm back to the hotel…that was all the biking we ended up doing for the week.

Thursday morning brought sunshine for our second birding attempt. Back in Winooski, we started at Salmon Hole. The plan was to start there and then drive up to the Ethan Allen homestead trails. We ended up spending three hours at Salmon Hole instead! The following photos are not the best quality, but they were indispensable in helping me to identify some of the birds we saw…

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We also caught glimpses of a cardinal, Canada geese, some type of plover, a slew of black birds, and a crow.

On Thursday, we had a dinner invitation from friends, Tom and Patty, who live in Stowe, VT. Our plan was to drive through Waterbury and Stowe to Greensboro, about an hour north of Stowe. There, we hoped to find Hill Farmstead Brewery. And we did… miles off the paved roads, up on a hill. The place was hopping!

Dinner at Tom and Patty’s was great! My husband brought a few non-Vermont beers to share: Trillium Vicinity, Ballast Point Grapefruit Sculpin, and Trillium Pot & Kettle oatmeal porter for desert. He also shared one of the growlers we bought at Fiddlehead Brewing Company.

The view of the mountains from their front deck was amazing! I even got to do a bit of bird-watching while my husband shared his beer finds with them. A large bird hid in the tall grass of their sloping side yard. They thought it was a wild turkey and I couldn’t tell, even with binoculars. So, I took a few photos. The bird was well-hidden and I couldn’t see it when I came down the slope onto even ground with it. Here’s the very fuzzy glimpse I got…I’m thinking ruffed grouse?? Any other guesses?
Friday morning we packed up and checked out of our hotel. We planned to drive south, down Route 7, all the way to the top western corner of Massachusetts, where our youngest would be graduating from college on Saturday. Along the way, we had to stop at Robert Frost’s former house in Shaftsbury, VT.

No photos were allowed to be taken inside. But the highlight for me was seeing the original scratching of “Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening” framed in the room where he wrote it. 🙂

Robert Frost lived here in Shaftsbury, Vt, in the 1920s…

The only birch planted by R. Frost still standing…

Friday night, we landed in North Adams, MA, at the Porches Inn at MASS MoCA. All in all, it was a full week and fun Vermont vacation!

Winter Recedes…

Posted on April 3, 2015 by womanwifemotherchild

It’s April 3rd, Good Friday, and it’s 67º outside my window. Spring has arrived and winter is slowly receding from New England. It has left it’s mark. Below, a previously globe-shaped bush has flattened under the weight of the snow…The poor young Honeycrisp apple tree took a beating…

And I neglected to cut back the hibiscus…but the snow took care of that for me.

One of the butterfly bushes bowed under pressure…

The plows mercilessly shoved the curbing aside…

And something burrowed under it all…

But there are happy signs, too. The forsythia bush is budding…

And the tulips are poking through…

But, best of all…MY SEED POTATO ARRIVED IN THE MAIL!!!!!

Welcome, spring, welcome!

About Stress…

Posted on March 23, 2015 by womanwifemotherchild

In this new chapter of my life, I keep discovering things I wish I’d learned thirty or forty years ago. If you’re on the far side of fifty, like me, you can probably relate. But since we can only move forward (or so they say), we must forge ahead without regret. Much of my recent self-directed education has been focused on learning how to live a healthy, happy life. Stress-reduction is key to reaching that goal.

Seven or so years ago (time flies, so maybe it was closer to ten??), I read Dr. Kathleen DesMaisons’s books, Potatoes, Not Prozac and The Sugar Addict’s Total Recovery System. They changed my life. I discovered my sugar-sensitive self and was able to change my eating habits, break my addiction to sugar, and step out from under the heavy cloud of depression. I’ve become so much more aware of what and how I eat and of how that affects the way I feel. It took years to get where I am today and, of course, the journey continues.

Last weekend, I attended a workshop lead by the author of two other books that I’ve read more recently: Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself and The Placebo Effect. In these books, Dr. Joe Dispenza teaches that through meditation it’s possible to break the cycle of thinking and feeling (and feeling and thinking) the same way everyday in order to create a new, happier, healthier future. And now I’ve just started reading Dr. Christiane Northrup’s brand new book called Goddesses Never Age. In it she postulates that there’s a difference between growing older and getting old. She sites the work of Dr. Dispenza within the first few chapters of this latest book and of Dr. DesMaisons in at least one of her previous books.

All three of these authors are proponents of meditation as a means to balanced health. And all three discuss the devastating effects of stress hormones on the body. I’m sure we’re all aware on some level that being “stressed out” is not the best thing for us. But the more I learn about what the body goes through when those stress hormones are released, the more I understand the value of learning how to de-stress.

We can experience physical stress, like not getting enough sleep, or emotional stress, like losing a loved one, or chemical stress, like consuming a high-sugar diet. Adrenaline and/or cortisol rush to our aid to sustain us and strengthen us in our momentary need. But they’re only meant for short-term use. If we’re constantly stressed, then we’re not giving ourselves a break from these hormones. And that can wreak havoc in the long-term. It can literally wear out the body, organ by organ, system by system.

It’s important to take stock of the stress in one’s life and to assess it as a very real health threat. There are small, but effective ways to de-stress, like taking a walk, enjoying the scenery, playing with your dog, cuddling your kitten, or just taking a few deep breaths. New habits could be formed: learning how to meditate, eating healthier foods, unplugging from your electronic social connections once in a while, or investing time in a hobby, to name a few. For some, there may be a need to take even larger, more difficult steps to let go of stress, like getting counseling, changing jobs or marital status, quitting smoking, or moving away from a bad situation. The goal is to learn what it feels like to be truly non-stressed and to make that the norm for your life.

I know that de-stressing is often easier said than done, but ultimately it’s our health we’re talking about here. It’s the quality of our lives that’s at stake. And who doesn’t want to live a long, healthy life? So, I encourage everyone (myself included) to take the time to make the changes that will lead to stress reduction and improved health. Check out one of the books I’ve mentioned above or take a pottery class or put your iPhone on silent for an hour…or do whatever it takes! And enjoy your life!

Winter Break…

Posted on March 10, 2015 by womanwifemotherchild

I flew south for a few days to escape the snow and the frigid temperatures and to visit with my Dad. Despite turning eighty last month and dealing with bouts of chemo-induced exhaustion, he insisted on scouting out some local venues for bird-watching during my visit. I do my best to try to identify the birds I see, but I need help with some of them…